I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
