now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
