do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
