Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
