In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
