I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
