I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Your cock deserves a montage
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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