I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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