My Higher Power is John Stamos
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
