and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
