got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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