I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I still have a little drunk in my system
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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