So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
