One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize