Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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