How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize