go do what you do best...puke behind churches
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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