How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
