2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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