you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
