She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
