hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
