How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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