My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
