you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
