Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think your dad took our porno
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
