butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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