he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize