It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
too bad you live with your parents still
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
