I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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