When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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