At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
