just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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