i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
