Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
