please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
