he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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