Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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