He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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