The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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