I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Welp...herpes.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just had sex on a roof
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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