If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I believe in your delicious
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
