Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
