Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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