It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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