ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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