didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
