Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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