So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
