We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
