The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize