And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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