her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
