i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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