i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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