Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
