My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
