You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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