Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
