awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
